Mike Holmgren, who’s job can best be described as being the brain Randy Lerner lacks, decided today to hold a press conference to talk about all the awful things people are saying about the shitty football team he has assembled. And it really seemed like his feelings were hurt by all the mean people talking about his bungling and incompetent organization!
So below are some of the quotes that suggest Mr. Holmgren may not be playing with a full bag of marbles. To be fair, I didn’t watch the presser. So maybe the quotes that every journalist that covers the Browns tweeted from it were all taken out of context in an effort to smear the organization. The media is cruel and coordinated like that. Even so, I just had to respond to the patently ridiculous things Holmgren said. Note these quotes are taken from twitter, and may not be exact quotes.
1) The Browns doctors and trainers did not see the hit James Harrison put on Colt McCoy, so they never suspected he had a concussion given McCoy’s statements and actions. I was at BW3s watching the game on TV, with no medical training and a semi-liberal amount of “global anestesia” applied, and I knew Colt had a concussion. I was amazed he came back into the game, and shocked that the Browns would be so callous in regard to his health, especially given the recent focus on concussions in the NFL. Granted, I had the luxury of “seeing the hit”, but I also saw something the trainers absolutely did – Colt McCoy writhing on his back, holding his head, on the field unable to get up for over a minute. Not sure what Mo, Larry, and Curly were thinking was wrong with him when he was doing that. Did he just remember he left the iron on at home before he left? Seriously, guys, he just got popped, he’s on the field, he’s holding his head. Can you really with any sort of integrity say you had no idea he had a concussion? If so, the Browns’ medical staff needs to pack up their leeches and eye of newt and get out of town before they seriously damage someone with their completely inferior medical knowledge and training. Oh, by the way, when the referee behind the medical team said “helmet to helmet hit”, did they not think that may have been a clue? Fact remains, Holmgren, despite how much you rant and rave, the Keystone Kops bungled that one badly, and put Colt’s health in serious risk. They also cost you the game, because Colt wasn’t thinking clearly enough to run the offense. You’re getting mad at the wrong folks, Mike…
2) If we’d just snap the damn ball and catch some passes, we’d be 7-6. I’ll maybe give you the bad snap cost the Browns the Rams game (even though the Rams would have had time on the clock to drive for the winning FG). Plus, the Rams are horrible, and “coulda woulda shoulda” against them is pathetic. The Cincy game bad snap cost a tie, and Cincy was getting the ball back and outplaying the Browns. And as for catching the ball… well, that’s part of the game. If the opposition just “caught some passes”, I’m pretty sure the Miami game would have been a loss, and maybe a couple of others too. Fact is, the Browns are a horrible team. They have no room for errors, so if they never ever screw up, they could be a .500 team, while still relying on the opposition to screw up continuously? That is a pathetic statement. The Browns ARE 4-9. Their record deserves to be 4-9, and they have only beaten really awful teams by close margins. The offense is terrible, and the defense is unable to stop the run. You can’t defend this shit Holmgren. Why are you mad at people for calling the steaming pile of dog poop that lays on the lawn of Cleveland Browns Stadium “shit”, when you should be mad at the dogs you hired that leave said shit all over the field?
3) It seems as though this is business as usual, which is very easy to write, and say. But I’m telling you it is not. The Browns are 4-9, and looking at the remaining schedule, they’ll be 4-12, 5-11 if they steal one with a top 10 pick in the draft. 2010? 5-11. 2009? 5-11. 2008? 4-12. 2007? In 2008-2010, there has been coaching incompetence, an inability to stop the run, consistently terrible offense, no clear answer at quarterback, and hollow promises of a mythical rebuilding “process” that the team was undertaking, despite no visual evidence that it is actually working. 2011 finds coaching incompetence, an inability to stop the run, consistently terrible offense, no clear answer at quarterback, and hollow promises of a mythical rebuilding “process” that the team was undertaking, despite no visual evidence that it is actually working. How is that not “business as usual” in any way?
4) When it does happen, don’t come to me for extra tix for a playoff game. Don’t do that. You’re either with us or you’re not. Whatever dude. Holmgren = Linus. Fans = Sally
Reasons I'm A Drunk 